Giving Into The Madness In My Head

When I was in high school I wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted to help someone, be an advocate for those whose voices were virtually non existent, fight the good fight as they say! In college I began my studies in pre-law which morphed into political science which morphed even further into public administration. I'm not exactly sure when I decided becoming an attorney wasn't right for me, but at some point I did. It was a gradual process that ended with me joining the ranks of "Corporate America". The truth is I never truly felt satisified. I enjoyed creating things, making things, reinventing things. The heart of artist and maker lay hidden behind suits and a computer.

Enter adulthood... marriage, work, our first home, a career, moving, building a house... and the ache to become parents. It was an insane roller coaster ride with both highs and lows and it's fair share of heartache. The reality is infertility can sink you if you aren't careful. You have to fight with yourself, for yourself. You are more than a flawed body and a childless couple. And maybe, just maybe, when you least expect it the thing you want most in the world happens. It did for us. We adopted a precious little boy and part of my soul was restored! PARENTS! I still pinch myself because it feels so surreal... a dream I am sure I will wake from. But there is one thing I am absolutely certain of, I would not trade the heartache for anything. I would re-live it a thousand times over for my child.

So I traded corporate attire for mommy attire. With the shedding of the suit my artistic heart quickened. It was free! When my son started school I gave into the voices in my head. I tossed the corporate high heels for crocs, business contacts for glitter, glue, and crafts! And I AM happy! I feel like I have been reborn and I can't wait to see where this roller coaster ride leads me.

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